Once upon a time, in a distant land, there were five adventurers:
Precious, the knife-flinging, pocket-picking human rogue of indeterminate racial profile
Goku, the hash-slinging, axe-swinging black dragonborn barbarian
Freddy, the mysterious staff-wielding masked man
Jamhorn Glittergold the... gnome
Al the Great One, professional High Elf and Warlock
They barely know where they are, where they've come from, and where they're going, but they've got weapons, the universal thirst for ale, and a surplus of free time. These are their 5th Edition adventures.
We run up to the brige, and find our way blocked by the "master of the bridge", an elven Warlock.
"You don't have the dragonballs to cross this bridge, Goku!"
The Elf is named Al the Great One, and he is a high Elf, in every sense of the word, and generously proportioned. (read: fat) The stranger doesn't see us as a threat, and tells us his story -- his companion was kidnapped by the church and he is seeking to rescue them.
Our interests and goals seem to align for now, so we team up and head to the Church.
The exterior gate of the church is barred, but the fence isn't exactly difficult to climb, so I do just that and unbar it.
We see lights moving in the distance; it's the dead of night and there's no reason for any lights, so someone's up to something. We keep quiet, and move towards the Church proper. The main doors are obviously locked.
Al: "Stand back, I will open this door." (Checking sheet, OOC:) "Can I open this door?"
Precious has a go at the lock with her tools and it almost magically falls apart under her touch.
We move into the church; as she was in her before, Precious takes point. We pass through a large chamber with a statue of a god, and five pillars representing the five seasons. Beyond that, a room with a large table and scraps of food, some sort of dining area.
Eventually we reach an area Precious says monks were praying in before. We can't see much odd about this place, but Al thinks something's off.
"Hoold on, friends! There is someone here! Whether it is good... bad.... we do not know! I sense trickery, or magic in these walls!"
Al picks out something on the floor; I notice it's hollow, and frisking the floor finds a bench, and in the side, an embedded handle and lock that requires a key. Precious does her thing, and we're able to open a door. The hole extends into darkness.
Precious jumps in, the rest of us take a more cautious approach and take a rope down. At the bottom is a small corridor, and a door. We open it, and on the other side is a mysterious room with barrels (Al:"Beer!" "Probably not!") and all sorts of bones in the center; Precious says she smells something weird.
I step in, and I realize what it was; magic in the air. Skeletons begin to assemble themselves, and rise! Freddy rushes in and smashes one to pieces. Al the Great lobs a ball of acid that goes wide and melts a wall and bookshelf. Precious tries to stab one, but in the darkness, she just slots her dagger between the ribs of the skeleton to no effect, and drops the blade.
Goku cuts in and cuts the skeleton down. Precious draws her rapier and pokes another. Al finishes warming up and gives a couple of skeletons the heater with a crit. The skeletons finally attack, and knock down the already-tender Precious.
I step forard and smash one, Goku smashes another and Al finishes off the one he half-melted.
Precious wakes up, and we realize we're a little underprepared for this and investing in medicine might be a good idea, so we decide to withdraw for now.